The Vomitorium

It’s late on Friday night and I’m trolling the Internet for porn. More accurately, I was on Ren’s blog, trying to find her posts explaining misogyny in porn. I’d read them before, but nothing significant lingered in my memory. I ended up finding her ’smut links’ instead and checked them out.

The last one she links to, she posts a warning. I don’t get triggered, despite my dislike of watching women get abused and humiliated, so the warning didn’t deter me. Here’s the sample page. Here’s my own warning: It’s not for those of weak stomachs.

The bit that interested me the most was “The Vomitorium” (scroll to the bottom). Per the site, “[W]hores have a tough time holding down their meals when they’re being throatfucked with within an inch of their worthless lives. That’s where we step in. We lens the puking…”

As it happens, I’m no stranger to the puking-while-attempting-a-blow-job. One was consensual, and naturally, promptly ended when the puking accident happened. The other wasn’t consensual, and didn’t end. Neither was pleasurable. Throwing up isn’t fun.

I am irritated with people who truly seem to believe that if they don’t enjoy something or if something fails to turn them on, it must be so for everyone. I usually don’t go down that road myself and have looked at extreme BDSM pictures (one of a person I have been in the same room with, who does BDSM as hardcore as it is possible to do) without feeling a conviction one way or the other as to the feelings and sensations of the person involved, or of those who choose to watch that sort of thing.

But I have to wonder, does anyone — anyone at all — enjoy throwing up with a dick down their throats? And even if they did, is that really a sexual thing which someone could watch and get off on? I can even understand getting off on getting shat on, but I can’t understand orgasming because someone threw up.

And that whole bucket-bukkake business. Words fail.

I wanted to read Ren’s take on the misogynistic porn subject even more after checking out her porn links, so I found her two posts on the subject. Actually, just read the first one, the second doesn’t say much more.

All right, so there’s a demand and there’s a supply. Men hate women because women are suddenly uppity and they feel oppressed and angry. They’re confused, the poor babies, and who better to take it out on than women? These sound more like rationalizations to me than explanations.

Because women have far more reason to feel oppressed by men, far more cause for anger, and yet, we women don’t have a desire to see men abused on film.

Here’s an explanation for why men want it and women don’t, despite having more ’cause’: Because men have been taught and socialized to lash out. They’re taught that it’s okay to externalize their own insecurity, anger and failures, and the culture implicitly informs them that women are handy recipients/receptacles of this. Women, meanwhile, have been taught that whatever happens, it’s all their own fault, so they should punish themselves, let themselves be punished and justly hated, and on no account are they to turn outward with blame. [Link is to a post by Reclusive Leftist which features an incredibly disturbing video of a woman being verbally and physically abused by her husband while she is apologetic and fearful. The video was filmed by the woman's 13-year-old son, who joins in the verbal abuse at one point, and at another, can't bring himself to point the camera at his mom being beaten by his dad.]

So the two sexes fall into the natural role of abuser and abused.

What I see in porn like what I linked to above is a symptom, rather than something that is problematic in itself. I find it disturbing that something completely non-erotic (even shit is more erotic than throw-up — at least it’s connected to a ‘dirty bit’), something usually associated with sickness, something that I wouldn’t be surprised often happens during rape, should be presented as jerk-off material. Note, this is different from rape porn. Things happen during rape that are entirely non-erotic, even for those who would get off on rape, things that have no semblance to sex.

And I’m even more disturbed that women let themselves be used as jerk-off material for men who really truly hate them. Imagine this: I’m a black girl and there’s a market for white men peeing into the mouth of a black girl. So I let myself be tied up and let a circle of white men stand over me, calling me nigger and peeing into my mouth, forcing me to swallow, and laughing and jeering as they do it. Then they turn me around and ass-rape me with a broom-stick. Let’s say the film also shows blood coming out of my ass (which doesn’t have to be real, but the viewer wouldn’t know). Yeah, you white folk hate me and I’m going to help you get off on it.

I signed the consent form, I have a contract with this porn company, I got paid, nobody got hurt, everything’s dandy, right?

And yet? I would be wondering how a black girl could do that to herself, and I would be disgusted that anyone would make money off that kind of thing, and I’d be very disturbed at what it says about how white people want to treat black people and aren’t even ashamed enough of it to hide it.

Men have plenty of horrible impulses that we force them to control through laws. Yes, it may not be the done thing to bring up child porn in this context, but really, what’s the difference in principle? If mere desire/demand is enough to supply anything — anything at all — then why isn’t child porn okay? Let’s say, not child porn — let’s say Lolita porn. Those kids are old enough to fuck and I think even should be allowed to. Why not find the least developed among 12-13 year olds and make porn for the starved pedophiles among us? (Let’s forget the legal age barriers for now — I’m asking a moral question: Why disapprove of one morally and not the other, assuming nothing is illegal?)

Why must we, as a society, disapprove of (not ban, just disapprove of and refuse to patronize) porn that sexualizes and commodifies children before they have the tools to deal with the ramifications, why must we, as a society, disapprove of porn that dehumanizes and abuses on racist grounds, and not do the same for women?

Why rationalize, attempt to explain, try to excuse, and cater to, men’s overwhelming desire to see women beaten down, raped and degraded? And what kind of a woman who has other choices facilitates this crap?

I understand that things won’t just disappear because I happen to have different tastes. I don’t expect them to. But at least I can say, “I won’t be a part of this.”