Cindy Sheehan in Berkeley

I’m a little drunk (see left), so I’m going to talk about Cindy Sheehan.

Larry (husband) has been dabbling with communism. He’s more putting them on the spot than anything else, and they need it. Liberals can’t get shit done without someone asking them for a fucking Plan for the revolution. Anyway, in case you were curious, yeah, me as a budding citizen = not going to communist meetings. Despite the ironic fact that I have sprung forth from Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, the two hotbeds of the new Red Green Scare (the Islamists), it will probably look worse for me to be a Communist than to be a Muslim.

From the sound of it, I’m not missing much.

Well, one of the communists told Larry that Cindy Sheehan was going to be debating army recruiters in Berkeley, CA. We decided to show up.

Gawd. I hate liberals.

They love to hear themselves talk. Okay, so I know I hardly have a right to be complaining about that, but dammit! when I, as an audience member, ask a question of the speaker, I fucking ask a question – I don’t make a speech. AND I keep it short. I quite realize that beyond cool as I am, I am not the reason the rest of the audience is there and they would probably appreciate it if I shut up fast so they can all get the hell out instead of leaving early and feeling resentful because they might have missed something.

Liberals talk too damn much and they don’t fucking DO anything. They don’t even vote — on principle!

The communists are also part of World Can’t Wait, an organization dedicated to getting Bush impeached (apparently the world could wait). There were a couple of old Berkeley hippie types selling buttons “Impeach Bush” at the door of the church (!) in which Cindy was going to speak. I started talking to them about who they were going to vote for and said I would vote for McKinney. They scoffed, “She hasn’t a chance!” Yeah, and we have a pretty good chance of impeaching Bush, right?

I got into an argument with our communist revolutionary, trying to talk him into at least voting on the ballot initiatives that are part of California’s love affair with direct democracy. He didn’t quite know how that would be “validating the system” because it’s not, but he didn’t have arguments ready. Unfortunately, Cindy Sheehan walked in before I could win.

Cindy Sheehan is a tall blonde grandmother. I will say this: She was better than I thought she would be (she was articulate), but underwhelming. I had expected more fierceness. She was very gentle, almost too much so, and the fake tenderness she has apparently adopted to reflect in her voice/cadence/style of speech, was not pleasant. She tended to drone on and on.

Her message was anti-war and she told the sad but unremarkable story of her son who died in Iraq. She has definitely done good by using her grief to spread the anti-war message and she’s had a tough time at the hands of hawkish Americans, especially as a woman. I admire her strength and how she got so radicalized. It takes a rare kind of person to change the direction and style of one’s life in middle age.

But she was going to debate the military recruiters that Berkeley has been trying to kick out. And the recruiters pulled out of the debate. That was a disappointment, but Cindy went into her viewpoint of why these recruiters are so bad and the point was made. I actually wasn’t aware of all the ways in which they are pernicious and dangerous to have in and around high schools. I’m not a pacifist, but our military is not doing well by our troops and war is no place for young kids.

I say, if they can’t drink until 21, they can’t pick up guns and kill people either. Iraq is not a video game.

Our male troops are also rapists. They rape their fellow soldiers and the women of countries they invade. If your son is a person of ordinary moral strength, he might become a rapist. To me, that’s a sufficient reason to keep a recruiter away from your son.

But there are other reasons, for instance, the lies the recruiters tell to entice naive children into warfare. The false promises of generous benefits and no combat duty. That shit is bad. (Sorry, drinking ruins my vocabulary. “That shit is bad” is the best I can do in this addled state.)

And oh – she’s running for Congress against Nancy Pelosi.

Anyway.

The crowd. Suffice it to say that I was the only one with lipstick on. I felt kinda out of place. One thing was pretty fucking refreshing: To be in a room full of liberals, none of whom wanted to vote for Obama. Including the blacks, who actually were pretty decorative — this one black dude, if he hadn’t been so eager to talk over the speaker and everyone else, would’ve been pretty hot.

Speaking of doods talking over everyone else, I was glad when Cindy was taking questions and after five questions speeches from long-winded men, started taking only women’s questions. (Sure enough, the women actually asked questions.)

I met a sweet young socialist feminist who gave me her org’s newspaper. The Communists also gave me their newspaper. What’s with these unknown leftist groups and their newspapers? Who the fuck reads newspapers, let alone unknown leftist orgs’ newspapers?

Why the fuck don’t all the communists have blogs? What’s with wasting precious funding on newspapers?!

I’m really pissed about that bow to nostalgia because it demonstrates the left’s problem: We can’t fucking grow up. We’re stuck in the sixties. We want student movements. We want secret meetings. We can’t afford to live in San Francisco but we still delude ourselves that San Francisco is a progressive city.

Progressive, my ass! I know more conservative gay guys here than you would have thought existed.

Speaking of the “progressive” Bay Area. Berkeley’s law school, Boalt Hall, is one of the country’s best. It has the honor of employing John Yoo (he of the torture memos) in a tenured law faculty position.

Yes.

There’s a campaign afoot to oust the asshole. If you’re a Berkeley alum or know someone who is, send a letter. Hell, send in that postcard anyway — another voice can’t hurt.